He must deny himself...

Tuesday, February 11, is a big day in my world.  It is the start of my last year in my thirties.  Whew, that sentence sure stirred up emotion in me as I typed it!  I honestly think turning 39 is harder than turning 40.  Turning 40 is the beginning of a new era while 39 is marking the end of a previous one.  It is a time of reflection over the past decade.  Evaluations of victories and defeats.  Wins and losses.  God has been so good to me!  I watched my babies grow into young ladies.  I fell more in love with my guy and witnessed his hair turn from brown to a lighter shade of grey.  I gave my hairdresser and sweet friend, Rachel, the green light to begin covering my own signs of age.  How did this happen so quickly?  In my head, I'm still 23 but when I look in the mirror I am caught off guard by new lines on my face that say otherwise.  Now, let me be clear.  I know I'm not old!  I realize I still have lots of life to live!  But there is something about staring at 40 that causes one to pause and say WOW!  That was fast!  

But, as I said in my original post, I am determined to exit my thirties in a blaze of glory!  I want to finish strong!  I want to celebrate 40 victoriously!  It is the desire of my heart that I enter my next decade with a stronger body and a deeper faith.  Thirty-nine is going to be my year in the cocoon and I plan, with the Lord's help, to emerge as a butterfly.

One of the tools I am using to start me on the right track is the book, Made to Crave, by Lysa Terkeurst.  The premise of the book is recognizing that God designed us to crave HIM.  Unfortunately, rather than craving Him, our cravings are misdirected.  I find that to be true in my world.  In the intro of her book, Lysa reminds the reader of Mark 8:34: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."  Growth requires sacrifice.  As Lysa summed up:

I posses the tools needed to succeed in my health and spiritual goals.  I have the finest nutritional supplements on the planet to fuel my body,  I attend an amazing church and have access to multiple books, sermons, and Bible studies.  But what has to rise to the forefront is the discipline and want to...and for me that will require sacrifice on my part.  As I pondered this, the Lord spoke very clearly to me what He wanted me to sacrifice.  Desserts.  For a year.  I knew this was from Him because it literally made me weep!  I'm talking streams of tears down the cheeks.  NOT DESSERTS!!  I LOVE DESSERTS!!!  Now, I don't crave little desserts like a Snickers bar....I like the Cadillac desserts...I am a Chili's molten lava cake kind of girl!  The thought of fasting from things like my grandmother's pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving is almost more than I can handle.  Can't I fast from salad??  Or exercise?? Something easier?  Yet, that is not the point of fasting is it?  Fasting is eliminating something from my life that requires dependence on Jesus and reminds me to turn to Him when I crave it.  Fasting is an individual conviction.  For others it might be fasting from TV or the computer.  And it isn't always for a year.  It may be shorter or longer. But for me, the Holy Spirit truly pressed it upon my heart that I needed to use this area of fasting as an exercise of faith, trust, and worship over the next year.

So, I will enjoy my 39th birthday cake.  But then the work on my heart and my flesh will begin.  It will not be easy and I covet your prayers for strength and discipline...even when I don't think anyone is looking.